~Through The Eyes of a Child...

As Christmas becomes a surreal 'Christmas is here and gone already?' memory, I find myself thinking about 2012 and the future in general... Having gone from believing what I thought were answers, to looking for answers in all the wrong places, to giving up on finding any real answers, I find myself in an emotional state of limbo-flux. Which then of course keeps my earthbound-bipedalers from touching the ground. I am neither 'here' nor 'there' though I feel I'm all over the place 'everywhere'. We lament the lack of hours in a day. Wasted time. Doing 'nothing'. Since most people love roses, why isn't it ok to make the time to smell them?

Peace of mind and lack of time... Apples and Clementines... can one beget the other? Can lack of time illuminate our way during the maze of our days? Can never-ending to-do lists be the answer to serenity? Ask a child! Eat, drink, sleep, play, and a child's day is well-lived. We share the same emotions, anger-sadness-joy-fear, but kids release the thoughts, emotions, and grudges that don't benefit their time or self. Somewhere between being thrust into this foreign territory at birth, and adulthood, WE decide we must do this, we must do that, and we MUST do so PERFECTLY. Why? Is time our worst enemy? Or are we TIME'S worst enemy? My 20-month old grandson is thrilled with his life and everyone and everything in it. Watching him thoroughly immerse himself throughout his days, I learn the BIG life lessons. He doesn't let past events cloud his present zest for enjoying today. He avoids negative people and places.  He smiles even after doctor visits, because once they're over, it's time to move on to his next thrilling discovery!

'So oftentimes it happens... that we live our life in chains... and we never even know we have the key....' The Eagles figured it out... Toddlers figure it out, from the moment they scream themselves into their new world. Kitties have finessed the art of fine living. All year long, I've never had less than 4 to-do lists on deck, with a couple dozen items each, needing accomplished. Everything holiday-related ended up being begun so late, that I finally tossed every list except the ones for gifts and Christmas cards. Then I sat down to watch 'The Talented Mr. Ripley' with a Kahlua and milk. Exhausted and anxious, I realized, nothing happened. No one noticed my untidy house... No one began avoiding me... The sky didn't fall...
The ceilings didn't cave... The world didn't end... no Armageddon, no Apocalypse...




We remember being kids. Isn't the fact that we cherish happy childhood memories enough for us to learn that retaining that child-like curiosity, excitement for doing new things, and letting go of those things in life that take us places we'd rather not go, enough to toss unreasonable expectations and demands of ourselves? Too much of our lives is lived for what others might think if we don't. I'm fast-learning that not one single person has ever climbed a ladder to white-glove the tops of my kitchen cabinets! At the end of our lives, our best moments will be those spent with loved ones and/or doing things we enjoy. I'm the CEO of putting myself last on those to-do lists. 'Lack of time'... Every day has 24 hours. If they're lacking, whose fault is that, really?! Life, not time, is short. I no longer wish my epitaph to read that I 'did everything I was supposed to do, perfectly.' Laughter, love, and living my happiest life, WILL be my peace of mind. I can live with that!